Tuesday, July 04, 2006

the Man of Fiberglass


Today's object of irrational derision is this Life Size Superman Statue.

Sure, it's a bit dorky to own a seven-foot fiberglass replica of the Man of Steel, but who doesn't have a nerdy side? Plenty of perfectly productive citizens still hold a soft spot for the stuff they liked as a kid. There's nothing wrong with a little dweebiness in moderation, like holding on to a few old dog-eared comic books you grew up loving or the beat-up old Boba Fett figure you played with until the paint started coming off. I can understand a kid, or even a college-aged kid, having a life-size cardboard cut-out of some beloved character (a friend of mine had Captain Janeway).

There is, however, something a bit off if your larger-than-life tchotchka nerd badge costs five thousand dollars.

To keep things in perspective, here is a short list of things other than a bigass Superman statue that can be purchased for $5000 (ignoring sales tax and/or shipping):

  • A used 1999 Volkswagen Jetta in decent condition
  • 100,000 pieces of Bazooka Joe chewing gum
  • 5,000 Whoppers Jr. on Burger King's new Value Menu (for a total of 110,000 grams of fat and 1,950,000 calories)
  • A difference in the life of an adorably tragic-eyed third-world moppet for 277 months (or a month's difference for 277 children) through Children International
  • 14 bottles of Kristal champagne
  • 333 copies of the Dresden Dolls' new album Yes, Virginia
  • 4166 bottles of Boylans Natural Cane Cola (the only cola I've ever tasted that actually contains cola)
  • 250 3x5 cotton American flags
  • 33 50-minute therapy sessions
  • 417 Superman action figures, with joints that actually move
Still, a seven-foot fiberglass Superman would make an interesting conversation piece, even if it does clash with your X-Men sheets (DC and Marvel are a worse fashion faux pas than sandals with socks).

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