Tuesday, July 11, 2006

One of these things just doesn't belong

Today's object of uncalled-for derision is this set of Antibacterial Silver Lounging Socks.

Antibacterial lounging socks.

There is so much about this I don't understand.

I can understand having certain types of socks. Certain types of socks are needed for particular occasions. Dress socks make sense. Athletic socks make sense. I do not understand lounging socks.

Why lounging socks?

Why antibacterial lounging socks?

Why silver?

One could sort of justify antibacterial athletic socks (and they do!), but why antibacterial lounging socks? Is your home infested with vermin? Is your floor so filthy that you must either wear plastic bags on your feet or specially-designed socks in order to avoid acquiring some sort of contagion? Because if it does, socks are not the answer. The answer is another Sharper Image item, the Scooba floor-washing robot.

This sounds like the result of a game of Mad Libs.

This sounds like a bunch of dictionary entries picked at random.

This sounds like some sort of zen question, something with no real answer, something that's supposed to clear your mind of all rational thought, that's supposed to make your brain fizzle out in the hopes that it will rewire itself and during that time a pinch of enlightenment might sneak in. What is the sound of one hand clapping? Antibacterial Silver Lounging Socks (two pairs).


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